AUTOPSIES/ARCHIVE&GUIDE
(image stolen from the internet, made into something for unknown purposes, recontextualized and ovalized by Emil Ottoman, 2023)
A GUIDE TO Welcome to the Autopsy
I’m Emil Ottoman, I’ve been in and around writing and the business of publishing for 20 years. I’ve been editing for fifteen years. I’ve been a paid developmental and line editor for 10 years.
I came to Substack and found a thousand voices, all of them unique, some better than others. Some all power. Some all control. Some in desperate need of someone to say “hey, you may be fuckin’ up there.” I’m the guy who tells you “hey, you may be fuckin’ up there.”
I love reading. I love good writing. I love new voices. And I love to read new work.
With that in mind, since I was already leaving commentary about editorial and writing subjects on posts, and everyone I run into doesn’t seem to understand exactly what I do, an experiment was in order. Thus, The Invitation to the Autopsy was born. (The name is a riff on Nabakov’s Invitation to a Beheading)
THE INSTRUCTIONS RULES AND WHAT IT IS
You send five pages of story to emilottoman@gmail.com, AT ANY TIME
Include: AUTOPSY in the email subject line, preferrably with the story title and nothing else.
Include your Substack handle and a small introduction (one para or 3-5 sentences of reasonable length) somewhere so I can give you a byline on the post and introduce you if you’re chosen.
You can send any file format you want, but PDFs are loathed, Google Docs are preferred as I move them there anyway, and putting the text in the body is also very much quite alright. (The last two options make my life significantly less hard, and make the composition of the posts so much faster.)
THOSE ARE THE ONLY INSTRUCTIONS YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW, BUT IF YOU DON’T FOLLOW THEM, YOU WILL BE DISQUALIFIED OUT OF HAND.
This enters you into a lottery to be picked for the weekly editorial autopsy.
The weekly editorial autopsy is just a developmental and line editorial pass on five pages of someone’s story, in public, posted usually on Friday or Saturday.
Send something you’re working on, something you hate, something you don’t think is quite right, just send something. I try to provide sparse notes to everyone who sends me anything. (I’ve been falling short of this goal lately due to other pressing personal issues. Sorry guys)
By doing so you will be putting your work up for a public developmental and editorial pass.
This is equivalent to my non-negotiable $125.00 reading fee for 2500 words when deciding whether to take on a new client or not and me doing prelim notes on their work to see if we gel or if they’re at a point where they need my services even. Professionally this is to make sure I’m not having my time wasted, and they have skin in the game from the start.
BUT THIS IS FREE. And I try to add some value, humor, wit, anecdotes, stories, errata, and help anyone reading the autopsy by covering more ground and pointing out fundamentals and common issues I see all the time. It’s a service to the community and I hope to keep doing them as long as possible.
Be bold. The worst that can happen is I can try to help. And I want to read your stories.
I WILL NEVER PAYWALL THESE POSTS! I AM DOING THIS FOR SUBSTACK, FOR THE WRITERS WHO SEND ME THEIR WORK IN GOOD FAITH, AND FOR THE LOVE OF THE GAME!
Above is a link so if you don’t want to subscribe and pay money to Substack but you enjoy an autopsy, you can tip me or buy me a coffee. (A tall black coffee at Starbucks has not been $2.65 since 2014. The average price of a drink at Starbucks ranges from four to seven dollars. At a local coffee shop it averages three to seven dollars a drink. And at a fancy third wave cafe like Blue Bottle you’re looking at four to 12. Jesus, $12.00 for a specialty drink? OK, anyway remember that.)
I AM TAKING EDITORIAL CLIENTS!
INQUIRY BY EMAIL: PLEASE PUT “EDITORIAL INQUIRY” ALL CAPS IN THE SUBJECT LINE, AND YOUR NAME.
SEND TO: EMILOTTOMAN@GMAIL.COM
I hate needing to say this but: I AM NOT A MAGIC CHEAP DATE. The line between my business and what I give for free on my Substack is STARK. I’m a professional. I charge a non-negotiable $125.00 USD reading fee for up to 2500 words to see IF WE WILL BE ABLE TO WORK TOGETHER. Look up industry standard rates for Developmental and line editing and then ask me for a quote. I am MID RANGE for price and services provided. It is an EXPENSIVE AND OFTEN LENGTHY PROCESS. I am also soft hearted, stupid, and willing to work with people if they have a great story or I take an interest in their work.
But my reading fee really is non-negotiable.
However, I would love to work with you on anything from flash (cheap) to full length manuscript consulting and coaching at the line and developmental level! (not so cheap, but still cheaper than an MFA or someone on Substack trying to sell you a load of bullshit.)
AUTOPSY ARCHIVE
I hope you enjoy them. There is a lot of work, a labor of love for the craft of writing in each one for you to peruse, if you want it.
This page will be updated weekly. And yes, I just like how embeds look compared to text links.