Truly...great work both of you, you stupendous bastards.
Muppet Pendleton...this story is like waiting for a doctor to reset a dislocated ankle... you sit their watching the totally ruined joint, bones bulging, toes pointing out in the wrong direction, knowing at any moment- but not which moment - the doc is going to come in and grab hold and hit you with more pain than you've ever known. But you also need it to happen because the pain of sitting there is bad enough.
I have no idea where you could dredge up a story like this.
And for all it's shining glinting madness and speed, you can also see all the nudges and buffing that Emil's edits would make it glow even hotter.
These exercises just take you to another place.
Arms folded. Sighing. head shaking gently. reading it again.
The editorial past that I gave you was a pass that I would give someone if I was looking to publish their work. It was the shine this up so that I can put it out into the world pass. It was the God Blake Butler is right. I really need to start a literary magazine on the internet so that I can publish whatever the hell I want pass okay.
I, Muppet Pendelton Fitzgerald, am happy and honored to have been ripped apart on the table and to have you as an editor. Thank you for the edits, Emil, these are tremendously helpful, I can't say that enough. You're a genius
For anyone else reading this, I need you to do two things. First: don't be a coward-- go hire this man! Emil's edits are my best-spent dollars this year. If you are thinking of doing it, DO IT! Do it now! The education alone is worth five times the price.
Second: He's a damn fine editor because he is a tremendously talented author of fiction FIRST. Hire him, help him and his family AND THEN GO READ HIS STORIES! The "Everett Hypothesis" gave me a creative panic attack. "My Name is My Name" is phenomenal. Read everything he writes!
Your story. You you really. Do you you? Do you get how good of an author you already are? Because a lot of the things you put out are already either ready for pub or very very close to it. Maybe a draft. Maybe some spit polishing. Maybe you just don't know the places to submit where they would publish these things. Maybe you just want to publish them on your own. Maybe you just don't want to make money in the long run off of fiction. I don't know. Maybe like me you have horrible imposter syndrome because you had to do everything the hard way yourself and have no credentials and everybody wants credentials. I can say I'm the king of pangea as much as I want and I don't have any proof. It just makes me as an insane as the guy who said he was the king of America. That's an interesting story. Yep, it's definitely coffee o'clock and I definitely have ADHD. A little bit of the autism too but whatever.
The point is and I'm not just here to f*** with your head, you're already really good, I just think that you may not have spent the past 20 years obsessing over the publishing industry and writing for pub like I have. But I can't be sure. Maybe you have. Maybe you're as jaded and confused as I am. Maybe you just feel like a big phony. I can't help it My super secret autistic special interest that I've never been able to let go of happens to be writing and publishing. This is like saying that your special interest is counting grains of sand on a beach. You're never going to get to the bottom of it. It literally doesn't end and there's always something new. And it's f****** infuriating.
2. I don't even know where I put my keys 80% of the time, let alone where to submit stories.
3. It's definitely imposter syndrome:
I am (largely) sef-taught. I am dyslexic with ADHD, I learned to read waay after my peers, and nearly flunked out of high school. I could not spell worth shit until my mid-twenties. I do feel like a phony. We're working on it.
Further, put a giant check mark next to jaded and confused.
I appreciate you saying that, I'm going to go cry now
buy one get one free!
Truly...great work both of you, you stupendous bastards.
Muppet Pendleton...this story is like waiting for a doctor to reset a dislocated ankle... you sit their watching the totally ruined joint, bones bulging, toes pointing out in the wrong direction, knowing at any moment- but not which moment - the doc is going to come in and grab hold and hit you with more pain than you've ever known. But you also need it to happen because the pain of sitting there is bad enough.
I have no idea where you could dredge up a story like this.
And for all it's shining glinting madness and speed, you can also see all the nudges and buffing that Emil's edits would make it glow even hotter.
These exercises just take you to another place.
Arms folded. Sighing. head shaking gently. reading it again.
Thanks both. 😎
Thank you Nick, I earnestly appreciate that. I hope reading it did not get you in trouble at work :P
Emil's edits are going a long way to make this story better. I would hire him for everything I write if I could
...expect the finished product soon. Maybe Friday
im desperately trying to finish The Legacy then...the re write...
The editorial past that I gave you was a pass that I would give someone if I was looking to publish their work. It was the shine this up so that I can put it out into the world pass. It was the God Blake Butler is right. I really need to start a literary magazine on the internet so that I can publish whatever the hell I want pass okay.
It is a damn good pass, thank you!
...someone needs to jack a printing press
I hear that barrier to entry is lower than it's ever been, but what the fuck do I know!?
I, Muppet Pendelton Fitzgerald, am happy and honored to have been ripped apart on the table and to have you as an editor. Thank you for the edits, Emil, these are tremendously helpful, I can't say that enough. You're a genius
For anyone else reading this, I need you to do two things. First: don't be a coward-- go hire this man! Emil's edits are my best-spent dollars this year. If you are thinking of doing it, DO IT! Do it now! The education alone is worth five times the price.
Second: He's a damn fine editor because he is a tremendously talented author of fiction FIRST. Hire him, help him and his family AND THEN GO READ HIS STORIES! The "Everett Hypothesis" gave me a creative panic attack. "My Name is My Name" is phenomenal. Read everything he writes!
Your story. You you really. Do you you? Do you get how good of an author you already are? Because a lot of the things you put out are already either ready for pub or very very close to it. Maybe a draft. Maybe some spit polishing. Maybe you just don't know the places to submit where they would publish these things. Maybe you just want to publish them on your own. Maybe you just don't want to make money in the long run off of fiction. I don't know. Maybe like me you have horrible imposter syndrome because you had to do everything the hard way yourself and have no credentials and everybody wants credentials. I can say I'm the king of pangea as much as I want and I don't have any proof. It just makes me as an insane as the guy who said he was the king of America. That's an interesting story. Yep, it's definitely coffee o'clock and I definitely have ADHD. A little bit of the autism too but whatever.
The point is and I'm not just here to f*** with your head, you're already really good, I just think that you may not have spent the past 20 years obsessing over the publishing industry and writing for pub like I have. But I can't be sure. Maybe you have. Maybe you're as jaded and confused as I am. Maybe you just feel like a big phony. I can't help it My super secret autistic special interest that I've never been able to let go of happens to be writing and publishing. This is like saying that your special interest is counting grains of sand on a beach. You're never going to get to the bottom of it. It literally doesn't end and there's always something new. And it's f****** infuriating.
1. No, I don't.
2. I don't even know where I put my keys 80% of the time, let alone where to submit stories.
3. It's definitely imposter syndrome:
I am (largely) sef-taught. I am dyslexic with ADHD, I learned to read waay after my peers, and nearly flunked out of high school. I could not spell worth shit until my mid-twenties. I do feel like a phony. We're working on it.
Further, put a giant check mark next to jaded and confused.
I appreciate you saying that, I'm going to go cry now